Psychologists (like me!) are people, too-- it becomes all-too-apparent when we melt down, have a personal crisis, or cannot show up for a client for whatever reason.
I enjoy working with a wide range of clients-- from kids to adults, with issues that range from neurological to characterological. I am more pulled to certain types of issues than others. Gee, surprise!That makes me like every other person on earth.
BUT-- there is a need for me to give everyone my best effort-- and that simply isn't always possible.
For example, in 2004 I was in a serious accident. I needed to have several surgeries and I was on some narcotic pain killers for a few months. I couldn't ride my bike for a few weeks, so my major form of stress management was gone. Under such conditions, there was no way that I could say I was at my best. But, I continued to see most of my clients off and on.
When you are medically down, people seem to understand. Now and then, however, I get down or out but it is more mental and emotional rather than physical. That is harder for people (including myself) to handle. I think, given my family history and my personal history, that I tend toward depression and anxiety. Sometimes these things have arisen during the course of my work as a psychotherapist.
That's a bit of a double bind. How can my clients have confidence in me if I am falling victim to the same things they are paying me to help them try to change? On the other hand, how can they have confidence in me if I fake it in order to not be rejected by them?
There is no easy comfortable exit where all looks good and no one gets hurt feelings. Working as a psychologist, doing psychotherapy day after day, is, amazingly, a lot like being a human in any other endeavor. Do I perform mental health as an act, or am I mentally healthy? Do I need to learn a lot of big words and clever ways of thinking in order to impress others, or will my true self, my genuine self, be enough?
What I expect from clients is no different than what I expect from myself. Being human isn't always easy, even for those of us that are supposed to be experts at it.
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